I’ve been putting off this post because I couldn’t get through it at first. I got home from China on the 18th and my dad called me to let me know that they had to put Otis down. I was a mess and just needed some time to deal with it on my own. Anyone that knew Otis or even just heard my family talk about him knows how much love we all had in our hearts for him. The world just seems a little less bright now that he’s gone. I’ve been thinking of all the memories I have of him though and it helps so much. 

I remember going to pick him up over 14 years ago. He was the tiny little runt of the litter. We brought him home and introduced him to our bunny, Buster. He was smaller than our little bunny and he kept running into the mirrors at the front of the house because he thought it was another pug. His tongue used to stick out because it was too big for his head. I remember bringing him to Larry’s ice cream and sharing my cotton candy cone with him. He used to do this howl when I’d come home. I’d throw my arms up in the arm and howl and then he’d howl right back. We’d go back and forth for a couple of minutes before I’d move the gate and start playing with him. He used to try to eat my scrunchies when I was in middle school. He was successful in swallowing a couple of socks. We bought him a bunch of stuffed animals but he only had eyes for his hedgehog toy. We were probably up to hedgehog the 20th or something. He’d bite hedgehog’s nose, throw him around, and then sit and groom/lick him. My dad would sit at home with him and they’d share snacks. Otis was always right there if you were getting something out of the fridge. He used to do this crazy running back and forth thing between the two couches in the living room. He also loved to lick the leather. My mom hated when he’d do that. When we had to give him a bath, it was the saddest thing ever because his little cinnabon tail would unwind and go completely straight down. If I was in my room doing anything, he would always come in and lay down to keep me company. He loved walking all over everything though. There’d be a ton of floor space but he had to walk right on whatever you were trying to clean, fix, or put together. He would circle around on the floor before laying down or around the coffee table before jumping up to the couch. My dad joked that he was as crazy and OCD as the rest of my family. When he got a little older and was hesitant to jump, I started “Otie -up-up”. I’d pat the couch and say it and when he was done with his coffee table circles, he’d put his front paws up and I’d lift him up the rest of the way. He was quite the TV critic. Always barking at random points in the shows. He’d always scratch our legs at the dinner table and would go around to all four of us to get fed. It’s amazing that he never went over 30 pounds the way my dad fed him. I loved getting down on the floor with him and chasing him around the living room. My dad always called me Otis’ number one playmate. We loved trying to put clothes on him. He ran in circles until his devil costume fell off on Halloween one year. We sort of gave up after that. But he looked super handsome in his little green shirt that my mom bought him for when it was cold. When he was going blind and needed surgery, my parents spent a lot of money to make sure he’d be able to see. My dad said he would never let my sister or I go blind, so why should his son be any different. We gave him the best life we could and he was the biggest blessing we had. We were all so lucky to have each other. 

The morning I left Florida to come back to LA this past December, I ran into my parent’s room to say goodbye to Otis. Kyla and I woke him up since we had to leave so early. I took his face in both of my hands and I told him how I loved him so much. That he had no idea how much. Then I kissed his little mouth and gave him a little scratch behind the ears. He loved those so much. It feels like a part of me is missing but I have such amazing memories that will stay with me always. Otis will forever be in my heart.